


I Don't Want to Be Left Alone

by FinalDestiny13



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Canonical Character Death, During All That Remains, F/M, Gen, Other, Panic Attack, Post-All That Remains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 09:11:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2687237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinalDestiny13/pseuds/FinalDestiny13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'...when Bohdan mentioned white lilies, Lee had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.'</p><p>Insight into Hawke's state of mind during and after All That Remains.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want to Be Left Alone

**Author's Note:**

> This was immediately written after I finished this quest, tears and sobbing included. 
> 
> Forgive me if Fenris is a bit OOC as this is my first time ever writing him. 
> 
> As stated in the tag, a panic attack is in here. Not extreme, but definitely one of the many I have experienced.
> 
> Lee Hawke and this one shot are all I own. The rest belong to the sadistic bastards at Bioware.

She wasn't too worried that her mother was late coming home (it wouldn't be the first time) but when Bohdan mentioned white lilies, Lee had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She barely heard her uncle say that he would be at his home on the off chance that Leandra showed up there, mind racing as she rushed to her armor and weapons before heading to the Hanged Man for backup.

======

Varric, Merrill, and Isabela trailed behind her as they began a search around Lowtown, Lee doing her best to stay calm. They were drawn to voices, one of which belonged to her uncle, demanding if the boy had seen her mother. After a little persuasion, they got some but not as much as Lee was hoping for. That sinking feeling grew deeper, panic starting to rise in the rogue with each step as they followed the blood trail to the foundry.

Even fighting the Darkspawn didn't help soothe her worries.

=======

Lee went into a daze, hardly remembering the fight and killing the necromancer. She only came to when she turned around and caught her disfigured mother, who smiled at her.

She was so proud of Lee for everything, always was, and that she loved her so. 

Lee recalls commenting that she's not alone when her mother stated that she was going to be, before finally passing on in her arms.

She had never felt more alone than now.

========

She was still in shock when Gamlen came to her, yelling and blaming her for her mother's death before apologizing. She didn't correct him as she felt like it was her fault.

First father, then Carver, and now her. Gone forever. The thought ran in the back of her mind that Bethany was next. Becoming Tranquil. 

Lee didn't know if she could have the strength to go on if Bethany became lost to her as well.

=========

She had been left alone to mourn for a few days now, having yet to vacate her room since that night. Hadn't slept since then as she saw what that bastard of a necromancer had done to her beloved mother every time she closed her eyes.

She dropped her head in hands, fingers weaving through the short black locks, biting down on her lip as she tried to feel something. Anything but this empty, maddening numbness. Lee didn't move a muscle when her door opened, figuring that Bohdan was just dropping off another meal to be uneaten.

"I don't know what to say, but I'm here."

She glanced up in surprise as Fenris stood in front of her bed, looking both awkward and apologetic. She didn't expect to see him anytime soon after their one night of intimacy a few weeks ago. But that he was here...it said and meant a lot to her.

"You," she paused, licking her chapped lips and clearing her throat as it cracked. "You don't have to say anything really. I'm fine."

He just stared at her, both of them well aware that she was anything but. She just stared down at the floor, wringing her hands together, unable to look into his eyes. Lee knew that the moment she did, she wouldn't be able to hold back the pain anymore. 

Looking at her, this strong, beautiful woman who even now held up her tough facade in the face of her mother's murder, gave him an intense feeling of both adoration and pain. Even in the privacy of her own bedroom, Lee refused to break.

Hesitant at first, Fenris walked to the edge of the bed beside her and sat down, an arm's length of space between them. Lee had her head in her hands again, breathing deeply, a hitch in her voice every other intake. A clawed hand gently landed on her shoulder moments later in silent comfort, Lee's control finally breaking at the gesture.

Tears ran down her face to fall to the floor, deep breaths turning into broken sobs as fingers pulled at her hair in agony. Fenris' hand left her once she broke, mind distantly thinking that he's leaving now because it's not what he meant to do nor wanted, which made her cry even harder. Mother was right: she was alone.

She was proven wrong however as bare arms wrapped around her before she was pulled into a chest, Fenris holding her shaking form against him, armor and sword now lying on the floor. She wrapped her arms around him, face buried in his shoulder as she just let it all out, his hold never once loosening. They stayed like that for minutes, hours, even when Lee was left only with the ocassional sniffle and hitch in her breath.

"Fenris?" 

She could feel the questioning hum vibrate through his chest.

"Can you....do you mind staying? Just for tonight?" She asked quietly. I don't want to be alone right now being left unsaid.

"Of course."

They curled up on her bed together, Lee's head tucked beneath his chin as he just held her, neither breaking the comfortable silence that fell over them. 

It was the first time she was able to close her eyes without seeing that haunting image.

=========

She woke up alone the next morning, the warmth of Fenris having disappeared hours ago. Though she did remember, however fuzzy the memory, partially waking up to fingers running through her hair, and a whispered "You know where to find me if you need me" caressing her ear before falling back to slumber's embrace.

Lips quirked into a small smile. 

She wouldn't be left alone, of that she was sure.


End file.
